11 Things Couples in Healthy Relationships Have
11 things couples in healthy relationships have and do are simple and easy. Relationships require constant attention, and these reminders can strengthen yours.
Dear Spirited Earthling,
Whether its through movies and marketing or social media feeds, society puts a lot of pressure on romantic relationships. The truth is, no relationship is perfect and striving to have one leads to disappointment and frustration. The definition of a ‘perfect relationship’ differs from person to person. Likewise, a ‘perfect partner’ means something different to each person. Healthy relationships have space for personality, quirks, and ticks.
In an early episode of It’s Going To Be Okay Podcast with Dr Hanan Bushkin, the Doctor outlines 6 fundamentals of a relationship: trust, communication, intimacy, attraction, common shared values, compromise. These 6 fundamentals are a part of the 11 things couples in healthy relationships do and have.
11 Things Couples in Healthy Relationships Have
1.Healthy Relationships have Mutual Respect
Why mutual respect in a relationship is important: It fosters consideration of the other person when making decisions, and there is kindness in the way you speak to each other and about each other. You think about how the other person will feel if you do something. You respect them and so support them and have their backs.
2.Healthy Relationships have Trust
Why trust in a relationship is important: Taking part in activities without your partner doesn’t profoundly affect a healthy relationship because each partner wouldn’t do anything to betray the trust of the other partner. You and your partner won’t be together 24/7 and there will be activities that your partner won’t be a part of – think business trips, weekends away with the girls, and drinks after work. Trusting your partner to maintain respect for you and the relationship while away from you is a fundamental requirement for a healthy relationship.
3.Healthy Relationships have Mutual Support
Why mutual support in a relationship is important: You encourage each other to keep growing and want the best for each other, while loving the person they already are. There is an understanding of your partner’s hopes and dreams, and helping each other reach them is a valuable part of a relationship. There are commonly shared values and goals that support the personal growth of each individual and the growth of you as a couple.
4.Healthy Relationships have Realistic Expectations
Why realistic expectations in a relationship are important: You avoid feelings of hurt and anger when unrealistic expectations aren’t met. Having realistic expectations doesn’t mean settling. It means knowing you are responsible for yourself - your partner won’t fix all your problems, and you’re not expecting them to. You communicate with them because you don’t expect them to be a mind reader to know how you're feeling.
5.Healthy Relationships have Open and Honest Communication
Why open and honest communication in a relationship is important: Each person knows what they want from the relationship and are able to express their needs, wants, fears, and hopes with the other person. Communication includes listening to your partner and really hearing what they are saying. Focus on what they’re saying and not what your response will be. Open and honest communication builds trust, understanding, and support in a relationship.
6.Healthy Relationships have Disagreements
Why disagreements in a relationship are important: Conflict and disagreements are normal, and healthy relationships resolve issues by discussing opinions and feelings in safe and respectful ways. Step away from disagreements if they become unfair and vindictive. Brené Brown explains that she and her husband will resolve issues when both of them are calm and happy so that there is a respectful discussion on the topic. Read -about- Creating a Family Gap Plan.
7.Healthy Relationships are based in the Present
Why letting go of the past and staying in the present in a relationship is important: This relationship is the one you're in, and putting what a previous partner did onto your current partner is unfair and destructive. There can be insecurities as a consequence of your past, but learning to work through it and leave it in the past is essential for your well-being and that of your relationship.
8.Healthy Relationships have Frequent Intimacy
Intimacy is one of the most important fundamentals of a relationship. Without intimacy, you have a friendship, not a romantic relationship.
Why physical intimacy in a relationship is important: Physical intimacy (includes simple touches, cuddles, and hugs) reduces stress and builds confidence in a relationship. It is a basic need for a relationship to thrive.
Why emotional intimacy in a relationship is important: Emotional connection is also essential for lasting relationships. Feeling loved by your partner makes you feel accepted, safe, and valued. Spending quality time together face-to-face reconnects you after busy days.
9.Healthy Relationships are Built on the Little Things
Why the small things in a relationship are important: The constant and genuine show of appreciation and love for your partner (without a special occasion or holiday calling for it) shows your partner that you are thinking of them and that you care. It’s about putting in the effort to make a cup of tea for them when they're busy, buying a treat they love, or doing the dishes and sharing household duties – just because. Too often, you will only miss your packed lunch when you don’t have it, or you don’t realise how quickly the dishes pile up until you do them. This is your reminder to be grateful for the love in the little things.
10.Healthy Relationships keep the Individuality of the Partners
Why keeping your individuality in a relationship is important: By keeping hobbies and interests outside your relationship, you find fulfilment in different ways. Sometimes you just need to talk to your mom or talk something through with your best friend. This says nothing about your relationship or your partner, it’s natural and normal and should be accepted.
Sometimes releasing tensions and stress is best done through sport, but maybe your favourite sport isn’t the same as your partner’s. Keeping your membership at the tennis club or running club can be a great thing for your relationship, even when your partner isn’t a part of the activity.
11.Healthy Relationships are Always a Work in Progress (as are You)
Why remembering your relationship is a work in progress is important: There is no end goal in a relationship. There is only the constant showing up and making an effort for the relationship. Make your relationship a priority – have a set date night each week, take weekend trips, remember the little things.
You as an individual are ever-changing. Keeping up with personal self-care and self-development allows you to be the best person you can be – for yourself and your relationship. These 11 things couples in healthy relationships have and do are simple and easy. Learn each other’s love languages for a happy and lasting relationship.
Spirited Earthling is more than just a blog – it's a gathering place for kindred spirits drawn by an interest in self-discovery, the appeal of self-care, and a desire for a deeper connection to the world. Written and created for curious minds and spiritual hearts seeking meaning in everyday life, this blog aims to help you curate your wholesome personal growth with free weekly ideas and affordable resources for sale.
As you navigate your personal growth journey using the words and ideas shared here, consider sharing this blog with someone looking for inspiration or motivation on their own journey. We are all spirited earthlings, and can lift each other together with mindful, connected living.
Thank you for being part of this community.
Best wishes, warmest regards
Jordan
Affirmation: I am in a loving relationship and we both treat each other with the highest level of care and respect.
Journal Prompts: What I want out of my relationship. How I can better communicate my wants and needs? Am I really listening to my partner?
Exercise: Remember the little things and do something kind for your partner each day for a week.
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