Letting Go of Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, and Procrastination
There are escapes from these traps, but they require courage, commitment, and inner strength – embrace imperfection, make time for creativity, and lean into self-expression.
Dear Spirited Earthling,
There seems to be an unending emphasis on flawlessness in society – from being the perfect wife and homemaker, to unrealistic beauty standards and ‘thin is in’ (thinking back on magazine covers with red circles shaming parts of normal bodies), to the clean-girl and that-girl aesthetics on social media today. This makes it easy to fall into the traps of a relentless pursuit of perfectionism, an unhealthy habit of constantly trying to please other people, and a paralyzing grip of procrastination.
These traps become habits, and these habits can prevent you from being your authentic self, restrict your creativity, and limit your ability to express yourself. There are escapes from these traps available to you, but they do require courage, commitment, and inner strength – embrace imperfection, make time for creativity, and lean into self-expression. This post can guide you on how to do this, and provide you with ideas and knowledge to live a more authentic life that embraces all of you.
Understanding the Traps of Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, and Procrastination
Perfectionism: Perfectionists set impossibly high standards for themselves, which increases stress and leads to dissatisfaction. It is frequently associated with an avoidance of criticism, a fear of disappointing others and a fear of making a mistake (failure). The hard truth is that perfectionism doesn’t always result in perfection, but often to burnout.
People-Pleasing: People-pleasers will prioritize the needs of others over their own, at the personal cost of their happiness and wellness. It is often associated with the desire to be liked and accepted, and an avoidance of conflict. The sad truth is that people-pleasers can lose themselves (may not know their values, interests, goals), tie their self-esteem to the words of others, and are easily taken advantage of.
Procrastination: Procrastinators are often perfectionists, who will put off tasks for fear of not being able to do it perfectly. There is commonly a base of self-doubt and perhaps a dread for the work. Emotions anxiety and chronic stress can paralyse you, often making procrastination an emotional regulation struggle more than a time-management one. The avoidance of doing the task increases the anxiety and stress.
Ideas to Embrace Imperfection, Please Yourself, and Do
It will take time to overcome these traps and break these habits. Here are steps to follow that can help you embrace imperfection, love for yourself, and the courage to do it scared:
Acknowledge and Accept: Acknowledging you are a perfectionist, people-pleaser, or procrastinator is the first step because it means you are aware of the problem. This awareness opens your mind to exploring and better understanding the reasons why, potential triggers, and the impact it has on your life.
Accepting this about yourself enables action. As opposed to denial and inaction, your acceptance (without judgment of yourself, simply accepting it for what it is) can be a motivator to make meaningful changes.
Question and Challenge Negative Beliefs: Think about the underlying beliefs that fuel these behaviours. Ask yourself why you tie your self-worth to the approval of others. Reflect on the reasons you give your power to other people so they can dictate how you live your life. Ask yourself why you don’t want to give yourself a chance to succeed.
Begin to challenge the negative beliefs. The following steps can help you challenge them. Another way is to say affirmations that rephrase and reframe thoughts more positively. Begin to cultivate growth, abundance, and open mindsets.
Set Achievable and Realistic Goals: Learn to focus on progress over perfection by setting achievable and realistic goals. The goals become less intimidating when there are manageable actionable steps to complete smaller tasks that lead to achieving the greater goal.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kinder to yourself – speak kindly to yourself, think about yourself with more compassion, be gentle with your heart, and give yourself more grace. Remind yourself that mistakes and failing are essential and very necessary parts of personal growth. The more you learn, the more you know, and the more you are able to do.
Prioritize Self-Care: Making time to look after yourself and prioritizing self-care is never selfish and always important. There are seven aspects of personal wellness that you can look at and give attention to the ones that need it most right now. If you need rest, have a rest day. When you need to connect with yourself, write in your journal and sit down to meditate. If you need to move, go for a walk outside. When you need mental and creative stimulation, read and create. If you need connection, speak to and spend time with loved ones.
Learn to Say No: Establishing healthy relationships and boundaries gives you the space to get to know who you are, and cut ties with people who don’t respect you. Say no to people, places, experiences that drain your energy and don’t align with your personal values, goals, and future plans. You are creating space for yourself to make more time for things that raise your vibration and truly matter to you.
Embrace Imperfections: Understand and accept that being human inherently means having flaws and imperfections. They add character and uniqueness to you and to life.
Leaning into Self-Expression and Creativity
There are promising ways to understand and explore self-expression you can try to help you authentically express yourself in different ways as you find creativity in different things. In an overview, you can begin by:
Discovering Your Passions: Try different activities and new hobbies to see where your interests lie and find out what excites you. It could be knitting blankets, playing the piano, learning recipes to a favourite cuisines, or growing your own food and flowers. Spending time in creative pursuits can bring an unexpected and incredible sense of peace, joy, and fulfilment.
Creating Without Judgment: Focus on the process and not the product. Have fun in creating and learning. Without the pressure to be perfect and the judgement of outcome or skills, you allow yourself to be a kid again and have fun for funs sake.
Sharing Your Work: Your creations may be personal, in that they were created just for you to explore mediums and express emotions. And those creations can and should be kept to yourself. But should there be creations that could be shared, don’t be afraid to share your work. It may create opportunities to connect with like-minded people, open you to new ideas and constructive feedback. The more you share imperfectly perfect work, the more you quietly encourage others to courageously share theirs.
Finding Your Voice: Finding your voice is about exploring and embracing the various ways you can express your inner self. Whether through visual arts, dance, personal style, writing, or music, your voice is a multifaceted expression of your identity and creativity. By leaning into these forms of self-expression, you can communicate who you are in a way that is both deeply personal and universally resonant. Your voice is not confined to words; it’s the sum of all the ways you choose to express your true self.
In many ways, the above ideas for leaning into self-expression and creativity encourage you to stay curious. Curiosity about yourself, the world around you, and life in general fuels creativity and furthers your personal growth. Keep an open mind. Never stop exploring, questioning, and learning.
The Benefits of Letting Go Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, and Procrastination
Letting go of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and procrastination can benefit you in the following ways:
More Happiness: Living an authentic life and a life for yourself brings more happiness into your everyday. You will also become happier as you find satisfaction in the process and peace in the product or outcome.
Less Stress: By accepting that you are doing what you can, to the best of your ability in the time given, without the pressure of unrealistic expectations and detriment to your health and boundaries – your stress will begin to decrease.
Healthier Relationships: Saying ‘no’ to others when necessary, and ‘yes’ to yourself gives you the opportunity to let go of toxic and unhealthy relationships. When you protect your peace, frame of mind, and energy you are able to show up better for the healthy relationships in your life.
Greater Productivity: By setting realistic goals and standards for yourself, and breaking down goals into manageable tasks you give yourself a place to start and direction to the end. You will have more energy and time to focus on personal goals when you say no to commitments and people who no longer align with your true self.
Letting go of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and procrastination and leaning into self-expression and creativity is a journey. It requires patience, self-awareness, and a willingness to be vulnerable. Each step you take on this journey brings you closer to a more genuine, embracive, and happier you.
Spirited Earthling is more than just a blog – it's a gathering place for kindred spirits drawn by an interest in self-discovery, the appeal of self-care, and a desire for a deeper connection to the world. Written and created for curious minds and spiritual hearts seeking meaning in everyday life, this blog aims to help you curate your wholesome personal growth with free weekly ideas and affordable resources for sale.
As you navigate your personal growth journey using the words and ideas shared here, consider sharing this blog with someone looking for inspiration or motivation on their own journey. We are all spirited earthlings, and can lift each other together with mindful, connected living.
Thank you for being part of this community.
Best wishes, warmest regards
Jordan
Affirmations: Mistakes are growth opportunities. I live for myself and I like taking care of me. My worth does not depend on my productivity.
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