3 Limiting Mindsets Keeping You from a Fuller Life
Mindset influences how you view yourself and the world around you. Therefore, cultivating healthy mindsets and letting go of limiting mindsets keeping you from a fuller life is essential.
Dear Spirited Earthling,
Mindset refers to the collection of attitudes, beliefs, and values that shape your perception of the world and influence your behaviour. In recent years, the importance of mindset has gained significant attention, as research has shown that it can have a profound impact on an individual's success and well-being.
One of the most important aspects of mindset is its ability to shape an individual's view of their own abilities and potential. Those with a growth mindset believe that their abilities can be developed through hard work and dedication, while those with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities are predetermined and cannot be changed. As a result, individuals with a growth mindset are more likely to take on challenges, persevere through obstacles, and ultimately achieve their goals.
In addition, mindset can also affect your overall well-being. A positive mindset can lower stress and anxiety, and promote better physical health. This is because a positive mindset can help you to cope with difficult situations and maintain a sense of optimism and resilience.
The importance of mindset cannot be overstated. By cultivating a growth mindset and maintaining a positive outlook, individuals can achieve greater success and lead happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives. Ask yourself if these 3 limiting mindsets are keeping you from a better life:
I am not enough.
The thoughts of not being enough or not being good enough can feel like a plague with no cure. This is a common and debilitating belief. This type of thinking often leads to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and a lack of confidence. If you struggle with this mindset, you may believe that they are not smart enough, attractive enough, talented enough, or successful enough to live a happy and successful life.
Often, this mindset is based on fear. Do you think this because you are afraid to do something and be perfect on the first attempt? Maybe you aren’t submitting your novel to a publisher or a story to a competition because you believe it’s not good enough to win. Rejection can feel like an affirmation that your writing is not good enough because you are not enough. But this is not completely true.
Some of the most renowned authors and most loved books were rejected numerous times over. Beatrix Potter initially self-published The Tale of Peter Rabbit because she received so many rejections (a first edition recently sold for over £40 000). Stephen King’s Carrie was rejected by 30 publishers (going on to sell over 1 million copies in it’s first year of publication), and Kathryn Stockett’s The Help was rejected by 60 publishers before being accepted (and spent over 100 weeks on The New York Times Best Seller list.). Moby Dick, Animal Farm, The Wind in the Willows, War of the Worlds, Little Women, The Bell Jar and Harry Potter are just some of the novels that have had a lasting impact on the literary world, yet were all rejected multiple times over many years.
Sometimes, this mindset can be reinforced by people throughout your life. An abusive relationship can leave you feeling inadequate in all things and unworthy of any praise. In other situations, you could feel undeserving of accolades or promotions because of imposter syndrome. It could even be through the people you follow on social media. This mindset was likened to a plague because it spread so quickly into so many facets of life. In the end, it is important to recognize that this mindset is not rooted in reality, but rather in a distorted perception of oneself.
Having this mindset can be wildly constricting to growth and happiness. ‘I am not enough’ is a limiting mindset keeping you from a fuller life. One effective way to combat this negative thinking is to challenge it with positive affirmations. Another way is through acknowledging and celebrating your strengths and accomplishments, investing in yourself, and focusing on personal growth and progress (the journey) rather than perfection. By cultivating a growth mindset and embracing a more positive and confident self-image, you can begin to overcome the limitations of the "I am not enough" mentality and achieve greater success and happiness in your life.
2. I need to be liked by everyone.
Having a mindset that you need to be liked by everyone can be a difficult mindset to have. It is human nature to want to be accepted and liked by others, but it is important to recognise that it is impossible to please everyone. Trying to do so can lead to stress, anxiety, and even feelings of inadequacy.
Furthermore, there is a difference between wanting to be liked (a natural human trait to be welcomed into a community) and needing to be liked (an unnecessary desire for approval) by everyone you meet. If you continually make efforts to please people, are anxious they won’t be pleased, or have a persistent concern about someone who doesn’t like you – you need to be liked. Why is this limiting? You’re living for others over living for yourself.
‘I need to be liked by everyone`’ is a limiting mindset keeping you from a fuller life. The truth is: No matter what you do and say, there will be people who won’t like you. When you accept this life truth, you can start enjoying your life instead of trying to change yourself and your life to conform to someone else’s ideas. Additionally, it is important to surround yourself with people who accept and appreciate you for who you are. You can live life boldly rather than trying to make yourself small. You begin to make decisions for yourself and not for the approval of others.
3. I can’t quit.
Having a mindset that 'I can't quit' can be a powerful tool for achieving success in various aspects of life. However, it is important to note that having this mindset does not mean that you should continue pursuing something that is harmful to you or others. Instead, it means that you should persist in your efforts to achieve your goals while being mindful of your values and principles.
Having the mindset that you cannot quit will keep you trapped in circumstances that do not serve you and can be damaging. In an episode of Everything is Going to be OK, Dr Bushkin says that nobody is bigger than their environment. People don’t necessarily overcome one environment; they move to another. People don’t change themselves to change the environment, they change the environment to change themselves.
If your current job has a toxic work environment, quit and find a new job as soon as you can. If you are in a bad relationship, leave and date yourself. If the neighbourhood you’re in or the city you moved to isn’t supporting the lifestyle you are trying to create, quit it and move as soon as you can. Remember that history does not equal value. It doesn’t matter how long you worked somewhere or have been in a relationship with someone or known someone or lived somewhere - quit environments and people who aren’t respecting you.
‘I can’t quit`’ is a limiting mindset keeping you from a better life. Of course, there will be times of strife and struggle. But when it starts negatively affecting your mind, body, and soul you need to take a chance and seek new opportunities. By looking seriously and deeply at your situation, you will know when you are giving up and when you are quitting to give yourself a chance to grow into someone better, somewhere healthier.
Letting Go of Limiting Mindsets
This is your reminder to think about letting go of limiting mindsets keeping you from a better life. Changing beliefs can be difficult because you need to do more than adopt better thought patterns. You also need to seek and have experiences that make these new thoughts true to you.
When you feel like you’re not enough, literally shake off the thought. Shake your hands, shake your legs. Write down, I accept and love myself as I am. And repeat it. Speak to family and friends who love and support you, and listen to their words. Give yourself a chance. The more chances you give yourself, the more you will surprise and trust yourself. Journal through the feelings you have and connect with yourself on a deeper level. Practice self-care to show yourself how worthy you are. Figure out your goals and invest in yourself.
When someone doesn’t like you, move on and focus on the people who do. If you catch yourself people pleasing, take a breath and give yourself a hug before going to talk to and be with people who love you for you and not solely for what you do for them. Limit time with people and in environments that trigger this mindset. Spend more time with people and in environments that support the experience and belief that you don’t have to people please to be loved.
When you feel trapped in a relationship, job, or city – actively look for ways to get out of it and into healthier and safer situations. Spend more time with people who are there for you and ask for help. Send out applications and speak to people in industries or companies you want to work in. Each rejection is an application closer to your new job, you are simply being redirected to something better. Create boundaries and let friendships fade if they need. Look for opportunities to move, ways to move, who you can stay with or apartments available to rent.
Create frameworks and plans to support the new mindsets of loving yourself as you are, focusing on people who love and support you, and giving yourself the chance to thrive somewhere new. Put energy into loving yourself and making yourself happy. Let go of limiting mindsets by creating and maintaining better mindsets.
Spirited Earthling is more than just a blog – it's a gathering place for kindred spirits drawn by an interest in self-discovery, the appeal of self-care, and a desire for a deeper connection to the world. Written and created for curious minds and spiritual hearts seeking meaning in everyday life, this blog aims to help you curate your wholesome personal growth with free weekly ideas and affordable resources for sale.
As you navigate your personal growth journey using the words and ideas shared here, consider sharing this blog with someone looking for inspiration or motivation on their own journey. We are all spirited earthlings, and can lift each other together with mindful, connected living.
Thank you for being part of this community.
Best wishes, warmest regards
Jordan
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